The Intimacy Snare, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Skull

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males use love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs translate great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will ready also).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), which makes the chance to right here make love with someone we are brought in to exceptionally difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , causing powerful feelings of destination, excitement, nearness, love, and wellness .

However when problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They most likely wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, look at this website an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, states that numerous of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in city locations, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

North includes, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a given that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete focus on your vision, worths, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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