The Sensuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys utilize love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret excellent sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex brings tremendous meaning and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels besides physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are drawn in to extremely tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful sensations of destination, enjoyment, nearness, well-being, and love .

Full Article When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They more than likely would not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, states that a lot of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in urbane locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

However, North includes, "I believe this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a offered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and truth hits. Your Domain Name

To avoid the Sex site web Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with common sense. While good sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, objectives, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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