The Sensuality Snare, Stabilizing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther because for these songs, having sex brings tremendous meaning and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual might be a match on levels aside from physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts sexual desire), which makes the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to incredibly tough to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , leading to powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, love, well-being, and nearness .

When issues arise, those who fall into the Sex Trap often rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They probably wouldn't confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, states that a number of his customers have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men especially in urban areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to point out that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a provided that we cannot control in a relationship; it why not try here is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow gradually.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with common sense. While great sex is crucial for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, objectives, and values -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

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