The Sex Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Mind

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings tremendous significance and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as soon as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels besides physical tourist attraction-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are running wild. Our body responds to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the chance to have sex with someone we are attracted to very tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce emotions), that makes us feel extremely near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in powerful sensations of attraction, enjoyment, love, wellness, and closeness .

When issues develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is fantastic!" They most likely would not confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that many of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in cosmopolitan areas, sex is easily offered, visit the site which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, motivates sexual activity. If a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable, numerous gay guys desire to find out from the starting. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

However, North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with typical sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, goals, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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