The Sexuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings immense significance and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will be good as well).

B.more typically, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to make love with someone we are attracted to very hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), makings us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful sensations of attraction, enjoyment, well-being, love, and closeness .

When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't confess it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, states that a number of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in urbane locations, site web sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North adds, "I think this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, requirements, values, and objectives -- continue reading this while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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